You know, everybody does things that they regret when they're drunk. Some people make out with strangers. Some people projectile vomit into other people's shoes. Some people pass out in the grass outside their apartments. Others drunk email their former significant others?
That's why Google is going to save you from yourself. In their process of taking over the world, Google has just released their lastest innovation--Mail Goggles. This new optional feature of Gmail requires users to answer five simple math problems before sending emails between 10pm and 4am on weekends. Theoretically, if you can't figure out the answer to 35 divided by 7, you probably shouldn't be sending that declaration of undying love to the dude who broke up with you for some chick that you hate.
First of all, this is totally more necessary for text messaging. Who sends drunken emails anymore anyway--way too much effort. Secondly... could we maybe take a little responsibility for our drunken actions? Half the fun of doing stupid drunken shit is telling stories the next day. And maybe your ex ought to know that you're still in love with them. Didn't anybody ever think of that?
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2 comments:
You want us to take responsibility for our actions? That is no longer allowed in this nation, not since a person won 5 million dollars from McDonald's because they didn't them the coffee was hot.
This is a truly brilliant ploy on the part of Google. Once this becomes a standard feature on gmail, some poor soul will send a drunken email on some other service, and sue the provider for not protecting them. Through a series of these lawsuits, all of Google's competitors will be eliminated.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I must mend my tinfoil hat.
Speaking of passing out in the grass outside of apartments, I think my finest moment this past weekend at homecoming was trying to sleep in a flower bed. My contention: it had the word "bed" in it, so I didn't get it all wrong.
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